Smile and Say I Love You Anyway Damn It ❤

Okay okay… I know I’m a little late with this topic, but bear with me peeps, I just started blogging. Besides the topic is still pretty relevant since people are still going on romantic getaways the weekend after Valentine’s Day or still talking about what they did or did not receive on the holiday.

Anyhoo… My mother was single most of my life, so growing up I didn’t see her receiving flowers, chocolates or cards all the time. I also never saw her pout over that fact. Instead she proudly displayed the handwritten cards, weak flowers and pasta jewelry that my siblings and I made for her. In return she gave us Hallmark & Mahogany cards, boxes of our favorite candies and sometimes she even baked us heart shaped cakes decorated with pink & red icing.

So, my brothers, sister and I grew up with the idea that Valentine’s Day was not only about romantic love, but about love in general and I am raising my daughter the same way. My reasons being; my number one goal in life is to raise a strong independent woman, still able to give and receive love whether she has a significant other or not. I refuse to see her become one of these sad excuses for a woman, crying, whining and/or begging for someone’s attention. I want her to know, involved or not, she’s still loved. I also want her to express the love she has for others. I hadn’t had a “romantic” Valentine in four years. Occasionally I did think “gee I wish someone liked me or I liked someone enough to exchange Valentines with.” But, thanks to my upbringing and current familiar relationships, I didn’t walk around sad and feeling unloved. My daughter always has been and always will be the love of my life, so we always exchange valentines. For every mother pouting over not having a romantic valentine, you’re a damn loser… Your babies should be the love of your life and if they’re grown and on their own, you should still call them and say I love you, it won’t kill you.

Some people say “Valentine’s Day should be everyday.” Well, I’m sorry, I just don’t have that kind of time. Yeah, I said it. First of all, as I mentioned in a Facebook post, we’re so busy these days, you know damn well you’re not telling everybody you love them everyday. Furthermore, we’re not always in the mood to say “I love you” or express it. Yeah, I said that too… When I’m annoyed with my significant other for not helping me find my black pullover sweater, I don’t feel like saying I love you. When my daughter spills nail polish on my couch, I don’t feel like saying I love you. When my mother is droning on about things that I don’t care about, I don’t feel like saying I love you. When my best friend takes the liberty of telling me something about myself that I don’t feel like hearing, I don’t feel like saying I love you. When one of my siblings rings my doorbell unannounced and asks for $500 on the spot to get them out of a jam, I don’t feel like saying, I love you…
I think y’all get it…
AND… Am I supposed to be bringing home chocolates, teddy bears, and jewelry everyday? Are we supposed to go out to dinner every night when someone in the house is perfectly capable of cooking a decent meal? Uh uh… So give me a break with all that “Valentine’s Day should be everyday,” crap.

Regardless of outside influences and research on the origin of the holiday, the meaning has not changed amongst my immediate family. We still tell each other we love each other on that day, usually via Facebook or text these days and I find nothing wrong with it. I agree, businesses cake off at this time, but it’s no different than Christmas. Every Valentine’s Day I make it a point to tell those who mean the most to me, I love them. I ignore the bitter ones shouting “fuck Valentine’s Day” and tell them how I feel anyway, because I still want them to know what they mean to me and I honestly don’t always have time to tell them in the midst of trying to be supermom, super girlfriend, super daughter, super big sister, super bestie, or a best selling author.

I think I’ve covered all the bases and made all the points that my mind conjured, but I still have a little more to say before I close…

If your significant other is complaining that Valentine’s Day is just an excuse to spend money, they’re cheap and/or you’re just not worth the effort because they can make you feel special without spending money. And yeah, they can make you feel special everyday, but as aforementioned, nobody feels like doing it all the time. I could elaborate more on that point, but I’ll save it for another blog.

So next Valentine’s Day, tell everyone important to you, that you love them and if it crosses your mind at random while you’re having your morning coffee, how much a certain person means to you, shoot them a text, email, wall post, phone call and tell them. The bottom line is, people in your life deserve to hear how much you care, even if it is only on Valentine’s Day.